This is the time of year for cook-outs and family gatherings...as I have stated before, our family is almost always up for a gathering...especially if it involves food! Seriously, we do enjoy getting together and having a meal and sharing stories of where life is taking us at that time. I always thought that family gatherings were a type of yearly letter minus the paper. They have always been an opportunity to catch up with one another and hear the latest gossip concerning various family members.

Things are harder now. Since my dad received his Alzheimer's diagnosis, we get together less frequently. It shouldn't be that way...we really should get together more but the location and the transportation and the logistics are more and more essential to my dad having a "good day" with the family.

I know he wouldn't like this if he were aware of the issues that his attendance presented, but reality is sometimes a difficult bedfellow. Alzheimer's is a difficult bedfellow.

My mom has to fight with him regarding driving to the outing. He claims that he is capable of the drive (He was a service man for years of a major company that provided trucks for him to make service calls...he knows the area as well or better than most people and still feels that his "back roads " and "shortcuts" are the only way to get anywhere. In reality, he has difficulty remembering which way to turn out of their housing development. My mom tells him which way to turn and if she doesn't know the way to where the family gathering is being held, then, of course, my dad doesn't know how to get there either! This is guaranteed to produce an argument!

The outing has to be held in the area and must begin and end before dark.
Nutrition is an issue for many elderly folks. Alzheimer's seems to effect the hunger center of the person's brain. We have noticed that Dad doesn't eat very much and he makes poor choices (for example if there are six desserts to choose from , he will choose six desserts and eat a piece of cheese for his main course.)

Knowing this, I watch his menu choices and try to re-direct him ... Ultimately, once again, my parents will end up in an argument over the meal choices. The stuff that arguments are made of never ceases to amaze me....I think that at least one half of the arguments that occur surrounding the Altizmers are related to stress and the constant changes that make over the person into someone that is a new and unknown person in the same body that you have known for so long.

It is as if a space alien has invaded the loved one and while they look the same ...the actions and reactions and the attitudes and behaviors change and shift. I know that each family outing has the potential of being the last of something. It might be the last time that Dad knows uncle so and so or the last time that he remembers that lemon cake is his favorite dessert.
God doesn't promise any of us tomorrow. He only promises today.

I guess we have gotten a little spoiled that Dad will be the same day after day. In truth, everyone changes. It is just that the changes are so profound that they are hard to take. God is constant and always the same the Bible states. I don't think I ever realized what a wonderful gift that is until my dad got sick.

This is a time to rely on God who is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. When life gets unsteady and when people change in profound and intricate ways, there is a firm and steady God who calls us to Himself. What a great truth! what a great God!!