My dad's diagnosis of Alzheimer's has lead me into a new world of financial and legal matters that I never knew existed! Alzheimer's Disease (AD) forces families and patients to handle legal issues that affect their own and their loved ones legal status.

States differ in the way that these issues are processed. Some states require that a person be found mentally incompetent before legal guardianship can be put into place. In Virginia, we learned that a diagnosis of AD and my father's attendance at the attorneys office were sufficient for power of attorney and transfer of the a mutually held deed to my mother's name only.
I understand why families are reluctant about taking this step. If a family waits too long , the hard decisions may be impossible to make. Ideally, AD patients may be competent enough in the early stages to express their wishes and the family can plan together. In our case, we waited too long for my dad to contribute to his own treatment.

Finding an attorney and determining the process involved and the cost affiliated with the services were all time consuming.
My family choose an attorney that my husband and I had used to help us with our own business a year earlier. Before we made our choice, I asked others that I trust to suggest attorneys that they were familiar with as possible candidates. Friends shared their stories and we ultimately choose someone who we felt confident in and who was experienced with elder law.
We also choose someone whom we thought would be respectful and patient with our parents and their current issues.
The lawyer was chosen and the date set and my sister and I made plans to attend.

I am the oldest daughter and I live in town. I realized early that it would be SO EASY to allow the process and the care-giving to fall on my shoulders in it's entirety!
Also, I know that, as a therapist, it would be easy to "be the counselor" and take full responsibility "for the many physical and emotional needs associated with AD. I knew that the burden would be too great! I also knew that I wanted to be involved in the care that my parents would need but that sole responsibility would be a killer! (I urge caretakers and family members of AD patients to seek support)

We are about one year into the process and I can say that it is not an illness that any one family member or any family should attempt to tackle alone! I am grateful for the strong ties that we have built as a family and my parents fellowship of believers that often offer to help or drive or assist in any way that is needed. In this way, the years of investing in the body of Christ and assisting others really returns many times over. I am impressed daily with the people that have been touched by the ministry efforts of my parents who have labored selflessly in many unsung ministries throughout their lives.

Before the meeting with the attorney, I worried that my dad would be resentful and angry about the concepts involved in power of attorney etc. I shouldn't have worried.

He was truly like a lamb : trusting us to do what was right for him. It was somehow sad and sweet all at once. Everything was explained to him and he was asked to sign numerous papers but he never questioned anything. His only question was to ask the attorney if the room we were sitting in was the attorney's personal office.
He did ask my mom if he could take off his neck-tie. The attorney said "yes", my mother said, "No , not until we are finished".
My dad went with my mom's answer.
He may be debilitated with AD but he is still a wise man!